Paradise Lost
by fairytellerxo
Summary: Kozik left Cassia two years ago, he never thought he'd land back in Charming, yet alone gain another chance with the brunette. Now that his hopes are becoming a reality, he's finding it hard to get on the same page with Cassia. He's saying all of the wrong things and trying to prove to her that he's willing to try but will he get his act together or will he be the one getting left?
1. Welcome Back

Kozik sat on his bike, looking across the street at the all too familiar house. He had been in it enough times to describe it, the colors of the rooms, the kitchen, the third stair that creaked only when he walked on it. He had been sitting on his bike for the past hour, watching as the lights turned off in each room except the master bedroom. He knew she'd be in there, wearing nothing more than her panties and a worn out white shirt.

He pulled his hood on and peeled himself off his bike, setting the half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's on the seat. He had to see her, it had been way too long. All he needed was reassurance that she still wanted him. He stalked over to the house and paused, he fished the key from the planter and let himself in. He looked around, everything was the same. He smiled and walked up the stairs, avoiding the third one.

Pausing at the master bedroom door, he held his breath as his shaky hand inched closer to the knob. It was now or never, he twisted the knob and threw the door open. "Cassia." He whispered, causing the brunette to whip around and drop whatever she had been holding to the ground with a loud thump.

"Kozik." The startled brunette bent and picked up the perfume bottle and set it back on her vanity, her eyes never leaving the man standing in her doorway. "What are you doing here?" She moved closer to him, smelling the liquor on him. "Please, tell me you haven't been riding and drinking?"

"No." He shook his head as he looked her over. "You look really good." He smiled as his eyes settled back on her gorgeous face.

"Thanks." She knit her brows together in confusion, unsure why he had shown up in her home, in her bedroom. Without even a courtesy call. "What are you doing here?"

Kozik tugged on his hair and shrugged. "I just needed to see you. We're down here on a run." He sighed. "I know it's been awhile but I'm sorry for not calling, not visiting..."

"Okay." She backed away and sat down on her bed and pulled her left leg underneath her as she watched him stand awkwardly. "It's not a big deal, I wasn't expecting you to..." She was honest, she had no expectations of the man in her room. Never had and probably never would.

He hissed when he heard that. It was never his intention to just up and leave her that night but when the club needed him, he dropped everything. "Yeah, I know but I'm sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just wanted you to know that Cass."

"I get it, Kozik." Cassia laid down on the bed. "I'm privy to how this whole lifestyle works and that when the club needs you, you have to get up and go. I don't hold anything against you, I knew what I was getting into when I started messing around with you sweetheart."

"Are you going to let me stay over like old times?" He looked at the gorgeous young woman and toyed with the front of his cut. "Please?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "You can sleep over Koz... You never have to ask that unless I'm with other company."

The man quickly rid himself of all his clothing except for his boxers. "I appreciate it." He crawled over her, taking his usual spot, his mind roaming to thoughts of her with other men before he quickly shook them all away. "Goodnight."

"'Night." She whispered as she turned off the light and pulled the camouflage sheet over her body. "For the record, I knew you were outside... I just didn't think you'd come in..." She yawned and settled into her pillows. "I'm glad you did, though."

He smiled to himself in the dark, the mattress creaking as he shifted to his side. Unsure of whether to pull her into him or not. He folded his arms under his head and closed his eyes, trying his best to resist his primal urges.

Kozik sat up in bed, the sunlight pouring through the blinds as he blinked his eyes. Trying to remember where he was and who he was with. He looked to his left and smiled. Cassia's shirt had ridden up, giving him the glorious view of her flat stomach and the colorful tattoo that marked her otherwise flawless skin. He reached out and traced the intricate roses.

"Stop." Cassia pushed his hands away from her body. "I am wide awake." She tugged her shirt down and looked up at him. "You're not even going to make me breakfast in bed as a thank you gift Kozik?"

"I just woke up." He moved her shirt back up and started to touch the roses once again. "If anything, you should have made me breakfast in bed." He stopped his ministrations and smirked at the gorgeous woman.

"If that's your way of saying you want my pussy..." She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head and covered the biker's head with it. "All you had to do was take it... You know how I love it, Kozik."

"This is why you're my favorite." He sat up more and grabbed the brunette's bare thighs and pulled her onto his lap. "You just have a one track mind." He played with the waistband of her neon orange thong.

Cassia smirked and rested her hands on either side of the man's neck. "Morning sex is fun..." She rolled her eyes as her phone started to ring, she sighed and reached for it. "Hello..."

Kozik ran his hands over her breasts as he listened to her side of the conversation. He ran his tongue over her collarbone and nipped at the hollow of her neck. "Who is it?" He mouthed as she looked at him with half-closed eyes.

"Dad." She mouthed back. "Yeah, I'll see you soon." She rolled her eyes and ended the call before tossing the phone back on the nightstand. "My dad will be here in fifteen minutes, make yourself scarce."

He groaned and pulled his mouth from her neck, the last thing he needed was a run in with her dad, at her place. "I'll go, you going to be around later?" He slid off the bed and started pulling his clothes on as he studied the brunette and the way she sank back into her bed.

"Yeah." Cassia nodded. "I'll be around later." She closed her eyes and buried her face into the pillow Kozik had slept on, her nose welcoming the all too familiar smell, aftershave, cologne, and leather. "I'll be at the party too."

Kozik sat at the bar, nursing the full glass of scotch as he watched Cassia move about the party. Smiling, laughing, and talking to his brothers. She was what every old lady should be; personable and poised. The only downside was that she actually hated the club, everything it stood for and the way it had torn her family apart. The only reason she ever showed up to a party was when her dad begged her to show up, put on a united front for the club. "When did that happen?" He elbowed Happy and pointed to Cassia and Juice.

Happy shrugged. "It's not happening." He sipped his beer. "You think her dad is going to let her end up with that idiot? Think again man."

He narrowed his eyes at the pair as Cassia turned slightly to him, giving him a smile before turning back to Juice. "Would you hit that though man?" He looked at his best friend.

"Yeah if her dad was long gone," Happy smirked. "That girl, she's nothing but absolute trouble. Get that through your head and drop any ideas you have of sleeping with her."

Kozik sighed and finished off his drink. "I gotta take a leak." He stood up and gave a quick look to Cassia who was watching him. He hoped she'd follow him back towards the bathroom.

Cassia waited a few moments before excusing herself from her conversation with Juice. She entered the hallway timidly and smiled as she felt a hand grab her. "Kozik." She looked at the man as they entered the bathroom.

"Want you so bad." The blonde biker grabbed the woman by her ass and lifted her up onto the sink, pushing her dress up with one quick motion. "Like old times?"

She nodded slowly and bit her lip as she felt him slide her panties to the side. "Please?"

He nodded and trailed a finger over her slick folds, she was already dripping wet and he could only imagine what she had been thinking of. "I missed this so fucking much." He pushed two fingers inside of her and watched her lips form an 'O'.

"Same." She smiled as she rested her hands on his shoulders. "Just fuck me, Kozik, save the foreplay for when we're not trying to have a quickie in the damn bathroom at a party."

"Okay." He nodded before reaching back and pulling his wallet from his back pocket before pulling a condom out. "Safety first," He murmured as he quickly undid his belt, letting his jeans fall to the floor before he pushed his boxers down, freeing his aching member. "Missed this." He kissed her lips as he rolled the condom on his cock before pushing into her with one quick and fluid motion. "Tight as fuck."

Cassia nodded slowly, her head falling back against the mirror as she wrapped her legs loosely around Kozik's waist. The feeling of him slamming into her causing a vibrating sensation to take over her body. "Missed your cock." She smirked at him, her hands moving to tangle in his spiky hair. "How many women have you been with over the last six months?"

"Odd question to ask while I'm fucking you isn't it?" He looked at the brunette before he moved his mouth to her neck, kissing and sucking on her soft skin, his thrusts still powerful and consistent. "Isn't it Cass?"

She shook her head as she grabbed his head, making him look at her eye to eye. "No." She kissed his lips softly and sighed. "It's not an odd question. You put on a condom… Never done that before, never cared for safety before baby, why now huh? Afraid you got something? Afraid I have something?"

He paused, looking at the brunette intently before shaking his head slowly. "No, no." He sighed as he started a slow pace, his mouth finding her cleavage. "Last time, last time we had that scare, I don't want that Cassia. I don't want kids. I'm getting up in age and I don't want that. If you want kids, that's fine, I hope you find a guy to give you that but it's definitely not going to be me."

Cassia nodded her head as she pushed Kozik away from her and hopped off the sink, adjusting her dress before turning around and looking in the mirror. "You're right. I don't even know why I thought you and I starting up again was a good idea. You're part of this god-awful club, you guys don't know how to be boyfriends, husbands or family men. I'm stupid." She moved towards the door. "Find someone else to fuck."

Kozik huffed as he grabbed the brunette's arm and pulled her back to him, kissing her lips once more. "You don't have to go, you don't need to go. You don't have to do this Cassia. I'm sorry that I don't want kids but I really care about you and I came back to see you and I've got my transfer papers and I'm ready to be Redwood again. I'm ready to come home to Charming and to you baby. Trust me, please? Let me prove it to you, that I'm going to be different this time."

"Alright." Cassia shrugged as she moved away from the man and opened up the door. "I gotta get out of here, though. I need to tell my dad that I'm calling it a night. Come by later if you can ride straight, maybe I'll be back in the mood to let you fuck me." She smirked at him and shrugged. "Later Kozik."

"You're insane, you know that right?" He moved to her, pulling her back into the bathroom and shutting the door. "I still don't get you and we've been at this since you were nineteen." He shook his head, his hands falling to her hips before he smirked at her. "I'll be by tonight, be ready. You hear me?"

"Kozik!" The voice came through the door before pounding started it. "You saw my kid?"

"Nah, I haven't seen Cassia, Clay." He shook his head as he squeezed the brunette's hips. "Maybe she took off already, you try calling her?"

"No," Clay answered back. "Ride by her house and see if she's there if she calls me. Alright?"

"Yeah." Kozik nodded before pulling Cassia's top down. "I'll go ride by as soon as I finish up in here." He listened for the footsteps to fade before laughing as he kissed the brunette's lips. "I forgot how much fun it is to sneak around with you."

She laughed softly and nodded her head slowly. "Oh, I know. I know." She smirked at him as she opened the door slowly. "That's my cue to head home. I'll be waiting for you to _check_ up on me Kozik. Don't let my dad down or he'll be super pissed and the transfer will never go through." She stuck her head out of the bathroom and looked both ways before walking out and disappearing out of the back exit and into the dark of the night. Her body still tingling from Kozik's touch. He was back and she wasn't sure how it was going to all workout, especially with the secret she was hiding.

* * *

 **First chapter is the hardest. I guess this one was easier because Kozik is one of my favorite Sons and Cassia is an OC that's been tossed around for the past year or so. I also found this gem in my story folder. Sometimes I start stories, walk away then come back to them and that's what happened with this one.**

 **As for the secrets and anything that may be between these two, they'll all come out eventually and in a major way. :) So tell me what you loved and what could be improved. I'm all for constructive criticism on this story since it's still in the starting stages.**


	2. What?

Cassia Morrow tossed her long brown hair over her shoulders as she walked into the Sons of Anarchy Clubhouse. It was her least favorite place to be in the world but when her parents summoned her, she had no real choice but to show up. She shook her head, taking in the aftermath of the latest party, the sleeping bodies, the empty bottles and cans and the trash that littered the floor. She had no plans on being part of the clean-up crew so she hoped her dad wasn't calling her to recruit her to that crew.

She walked into the chapel, spotting her dad at the head of the table. "Dad, please tell me you called me here for something important because I am not cleaning up that mess out there. I wasn't even here for the entire party."

"I know baby." Clay smiled at his daughter before standing up and moving to the brunette. "It's about your trust fund, the one your mom had left you. The lawyer says you now have access to it, well-unrestricted access to it now."

"That's cool." She smiled as she hugged him. "Why did you call me all the way here to tell me that? That could've been a phone call or a stop by after you've finished your business here for the day dad."

"The club, we need to borrow some money." He looked down at his daughter. "I know your stance on the club but we need the help."

"There it is." Cassia shook her head slowly. "Take what you need, I don't care as long as you put it back, dad. Jesus, it's always about the club and it's needed though huh? What happens if you can't put that money back? What're you going to do to make it all right?"

"It'll all be put back." Clay sighed as he rubbed his daughter's arms. "I will put it all back Cassia, I promise."

"I'm holding you to it." She nodded as she let the man pull her into a tight hug. "You have the information, just make sure I have enough to cover school, my house, and car note for at least the next year or so. I'll see you later, dinner at Gemma's right?"

"Stay, Gemma will be here soon. She just ran out to get some necessities for the clubhouse." He smiled at his daughter. Hoping that she'd change her mind and actually stick around and hang out with him. "You used to love the club when you were younger."

"Yeah before it took my mom from me." Cassia shook her head slowly. "It chased mom away and straight into an early grave. I can't be here all of the time. It's too painful for me. I do it on occasion because it makes you happy dad."

"I thought you'd never get home." Kozik smiled as he wrapped the brunette up in his arms and carried her to the sofa, dropping her onto it before sliding out of his kutte and flannel. "I want you so damn bad Cassia, you have no idea how hard I am right now."

"It's good to see you too." Cassia smiled up at the man. "Show me how hard you are." She sat up, her hands on his waistband before quickly unbuckling his belt. "I've had a long day and now I just need to blow off some steam."

"I can do that for you." He looked down at her, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue slowly slipping into her mouth to move against hers. His body was on edge, the chemistry sending him on a much-needed trip. He missed this, he missed her, he missed the way their bodies seemed to just become one. "God, I need you."

"Mmm," She pulled back to look at him, her breaths a bit ragged as she smiled up at him. "I always forget what an amazing kisser you are me back to how we started up…"

" _You know, I'm finally eighteen," Cassia smirked as she grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and twisted the top off. "Legal…"_

 _Kozik looked up from the magazine and shook his head. "And? You're eighteen, you think you have some type of new freedom? Oh wait, you're not old enough to legally get into most clubs but you still can't drink." He grabbed the beer from her, smirking as he brought it up to his lips and took a long pull. "You still have a babysitter, congratulations. What are we doing tonight?"_

" _Hey, I was saving that beer. For myself." She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and shrugged. "I want to just hang out and watch movies. I don't need you around to do that. I am sure my dad could use you around the clubhouse instead."_

" _Then who would keep that kid from sneaking into the house again?" He smirked at her. "Don't act dumb, I know he's going to sneak in as soon as I leave. Your dad told me to watch you while he's on a run so that's what I'm doing and since you refuse to live with him and Gemma, you will always have a babysitter."_

" _Always?" She smirked back at him and leaned forward. "See, there's no kid this time. Tyler is busy, probably playing with Julia tonight. I really need to find my own boyfriend, this whole sharing a boyfriend thing is annoying. Like, who's going to get me off when I need to. Sometimes the fingers just don't do the job."_

 _Kozik shook his head, setting the bottle down slowly. He knew what she was up to, it was the same game she had played time and time again. She wanted to tease him, tease him until he gave in and let her have his way. "You're so much trouble."_

" _I know." She shrugged, running her fingers over her cleavage before grinning. "Don't act like you don't love what you see. You can finally stare without having to look away. I'm legal now…"_

" _Legal but still very off limits." He shook his head. "You're still a kid, you're my president's kid."_

" _Blah." She shook her head as she licked her lips. She wanted what she wanted and she wasn't going to stop until she got it. "Not into the barely legal thing?" She rounded the island, standing before the man before moving to straddle his legs. "It could be fun, really fun. It could make us both feel good. Just give into the temptation already Kozik. I know you want to."_

" _No, no." He shook his head and groaned as he looked at the brunette. "I'm not going to do this Cassia. Not now, not ever."_

" _Aw, don't say that." She poked her bottom lip out and shook her head. "Just this once and we'll never have to do it again." She leaned forward, catching his lips in a kiss, gasping slightly as she felt him return the kiss. "What happened to that no?"_

" _Gone." He rested his hands on her hips and shrugged. "What? Not into it anymore now that I'm playing your game?"_

" _Still very into it." She pulled her shirt over her head and smirked. "What? I like skin to skin contact."_

"Oh, you mean when you basically raped me?" Kozik looked at Cassia and smiled. "I was drunk, you took advantage of me. Stole my innocence away and now I can never get it back."

"Mmm." She shook her head as she took his cock in her hands and began to stroke it slowly. "You consented, it was consensual and amazing." She smirked before shrugging. "Enough of that memory, are you going to fuck me or not?"

"Yup." He nodded as he lifted up the brunette before settling her over the arm of the sofa. "I'm going to fuck you. I just liked the whole little trip down memory lane. I always forget that you were the one that initiated our entire relationship."

"I was the one who initiated it, it was a good decision." She fell back onto the sofa and sighed as she pulled the blanket over her body. "I can't do this Kozik. I'm sorry but I need to tell you something. It's very important. Put your clothes back on please."

"I'm starting to think that you're no longer attracted to me." He chuckled as he studied the brunette carefully. "One minute you want me to fuck you, the next minute you want to have a serious conversation. What's going on with you Cassia?"

"You know when you left me?" Cassia sat up, resting her face on her knees as she looked at the man. "You left, without even telling me. I had to find out from my dad that you had put in for a transfer to Tacoma for a while." She sighed as she tangled her fingers into her hair. "God, I don't even know how to tell you this."

"Who'd you fuck?" Kozik looked at her as he sat down on the coffee table, pulling his boots back on. "Which of my brothers did you fuck?"

"God!" She groaned as she looked at him. "I didn't sleep with any of your brothers. I wouldn't do that shit to you at all." She reached forward and grabbed his chin, turning his face away from her. "Jen must've been super important, for you to get her named tattooed on your neck." She dropped her hand. "You left me and I found out a week later that I was pregnant and when I tried to call you, your phone number wasn't working and I didn't want to show up to the Tacoma clubhouse because I wholeheartedly thought you just wanted me out of your life."

"Drunken tattoo but she was important." He rubbed the left side of his neck and shook his head slowly. "Pregnant? You were pregnant and you did what? I don't see a kid around here, no nursery… I didn't want you out of my life, I was just spiraling out of control here. I needed a change of scenery. You weren't going to uproot and move to Tacoma to be near me Cassia. You hate the club."

"I do hate the club!" She yelled as she wiped at her face. "I hate the club but I would've understood your decision had you took the time out to explain it to me. If you had the decency to let me know why you were moving away instead of simply getting up and moving out of state without as much of a goodbye. I didn't have an abortion if that's where your mind is at. I'm working on my master's, I couldn't care for him as well as I needed to, so he's with my mom's parents. His grandparents look after him most of the time and when I have free time and when I make time, I go visit with him. He's handsome. Has your stupid smile."

"I have to go." Kozik stood up slowly, tugging his flannel and kutte back on before backing away from the brunette. His mind racing as he tried to process what Cassia had just told him. He was a dad and the kid was off with strangers. Strangers were raising his child, a child he knew nothing about. "I'll see you later. I'll see you around. Okay?"

Cassia nodded her head slowly as she covered her face. "I'm sorry Kozik. I just didn't know what to do or what to tell you. I just thought you regretted me and us and left without telling me because you wanted a fresh start. You wanted a fresh start without me and I couldn't just drop that bomb on you."

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." He shook his head. "I'll see you around." He glanced at her one last time. "Make sure you set the alarm."

"I'll set it now." She stood up from the sofa, moving after the man towards the door. "Please call me when you're ready to talk, alright?" She watched him open the door before stepping out and slamming it behind him. "Or not." She mumbled to herself as she set the alarm before letting herself slide down the wall, her head in her hands as she let herself begin to sob, her whole body shaking. She knew the secret would shock the man but she didn't know he would walk away from her.

* * *

 **I know it's short but there was a lot of information in this chapter, as well as one of Cassia's secrets being dropped. I know it's only chapter two and there is already drama but I couldn't help myself. I really couldn't.**


	3. Vroom, Vroom

A week had passed since the bomb had been dropped on Kozik. He had become a dad while he was away in Tacoma and had no idea about it. He was still in shock, still avoiding Cassia and opted out of her security detail. Instead, sitting back and watching has Clay put Juice and a prospect on babysitting duty. He shook his head, fumbling with the keys in his hands before he finally got his hands to still.

"Oh." Cassia paused as she looked at Kozik. "I wasn't expecting you, I was just about to step out and run some errands."

"I came to talk." He nodded slowly as he looked at her. "Have time for that?"

"Sure." She moved aside, letting the man into the house before she closed the door behind him. "The errands can wait."

He dropped to the sofa and studied the brunette carefully before sighing slowly, his hands rubbing up and down his face. "Does your dad know that you had a kid?"

"Does my dad know that I have a son?" Cassia nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, he found out when he decided to be a dad one night and checked in on me. I was nine months along, just walking around the kitchen, snacking on pizza. He freaked out, he yelled and he asked me who the dad was. I told him it was my ex-boyfriend's kid and that he didn't want anything to do with me or the kid so I was going to handle it, so he just dropped it and told me not to make the same mistake again."

"Do you have a picture?" He looked around the living room. "Or are you too ashamed to put your kid on display? Afraid you're going to chase off any of the guys that come through here?"

"Would it have scared you off? Seeing a child's picture all over?" She looked at him as she dug through her purse and tossed an envelope to Kozik. "I get pictures printed, I can just never handle putting them in frames or hanging them up. Like, I get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I am just a failure of a mom because I want to finish up my degree but I love that little boy so much and my grandparents are doing a better job with taking care of him than I am right now. I have a little under a year left and then I hope I can bring him home."

"Probably." He nodded slowly as he started to flip through the pictures. "He's a fat kid." He chuckled and shook his head. "How old is he?"

"You were gone how long? After you left, I had found out I was nearly three months along. I know, stupid huh? Didn't even know my own body. I went in thinking I had some flu. Six months later, I had that chunky little boy. He's eighteen months. Talks, walks, has all time best cuddles. I _love_ spending weekends with him when I can. We just cuddle away the days."

"I never realized how long I was actually gone, it all went by so damn fast." Kozik shook his head as he slipped a picture into his kutte. "I left because I had dropped into a bad place, the addiction kicked back in. I couldn't stay here. When I went to Tacoma, I linked up with an old friend. You know Happy right? He came back down here with me, he helped me get clean, then I met Jennifer and she fucked me right back up before I finally got clean again."

"Yeah, she fucked you up enough for you to drop your wall down, for you to get so attached that her name is forever etched into your skin." She scoffed and shook her head. "What happened? I had brought up the idea of you getting a C tattooed on you and you practically tore my head off for it. Did you love her? Still love her? Love her way more than you can ever love me?" She took the stack of pictures back. "For the record, his name is Carter Jace. Didn't think it'd be smart to slap your name there."

"It wasn't like that like I said, she fucked me up. I was in a bad place with her." He sighed again as he looked up at Cassia. "You know I love you Cassia, you should never question that, like _ever_."

"I questioned it for the last two years." Cassia shrugged as she sat down on the coffee table and rubbed her arms. "I couldn't help it since you didn't tell me why you left." She shook her head as she looked down at her hands. "If you want to meet Carter, I'll be seeing him this weekend. Friday afternoon until Monday morning when I have to go to class."

"I'm sorry." Kozik grabbed her hands and nodded. "I'm sorry, alright? You were barely even eighteen when this started, whatever this actually is. We never labeled it, we just had fun with each other. A lot of fun and I didn't even think twice about the age difference. When the shit hit the fan, I left because I thought you'd be fine. You'd move on and it'd be all good for you. I did think about you a lot, though."

"Four years." She shook her head. "Four years, we were together for four years. I didn't see any other guys. I didn't invest emotions into anyone else but you. I was all about you, I guess I was stupid to think that you and I were on the same page. I'm nearing twenty-five and I have a child and I still care a whole lot about you Herman, I care so much about you. Like you came back and all the feelings came back too. Like, I wanted to be angry, I wanted to hate you for leaving me and the moment you stepped foot into my bedroom, all of that went away. I just wanted you and I was glad that I had you back."

"I was the adult, I shouldn't have let any of it happen but it did and it was amazing, still is amazing." He nodded his head slowly. "I like what we have going on Cassia. It's light, it isn't serious and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to do the commitment shit, never have and I don't know if I ever will, to be honest."

"That's not what this is even about. I get it, Kozik, I care about you, you care about me. You don't want a relationship so that's why we're not in a relationship. We've never been in one. I was simply telling you that I was young and I treated it as a relationship, it wasn't until you left that I realized I was way more invested in it than you were." Cassia pulled her hair into a ponytail before crossing her arms over her chest. "We're not together, I get that. You don't need to remind me of it, alright? You were the adult but we got involved with each other and now you probably wish it wouldn't have happened but I hope you don't have regrets because I don't have any regrets about what we did and are currently doing. We're just fucking and having fun, there's nothing wrong with that."

"You're doing that rebuffing thing again." Kozik shook his head slowly as he grabbed her hands. "I am about you, I love you and I've missed you like crazy. I want to work on getting us to where we were before I left. I liked that, it was our best year. I think we can get back to it, even beat it."

"Like I said, I'll be leaving Friday afternoon if you want to come with me." Cassia stood up, grabbing her purse and keys. "Make yourself at home. I'll be back in a few hours when all the errands are finished."

"Look at my baby love." Cassia cooed as she lifted up her son and peppered his face with kisses. "You're so big, you gotta stop growing up on me Carter." She shook her head as she set him back to his feet, letting him grab her fingers with his hand. "Oh, you're going to walk with me?"

"He's been chatting about you all day." Ingrid smiled at her granddaughter. "He has a new toy car that he wants to show you as well."

"Awesome." She nodded eagerly. "He knows I love cars. I brought him some things and I picked up everything on the list you sent me as well. All the bags are in the car but Kozik is going to bring them in. I have a babysitter with me on this trip. Dad's orders."

"Your dad couldn't be bothered to escort you this time?" Ingrid shook her head. "That's fine, I guess I'll set up the guest room for him. I hope he can fit on a twin sized bed."

Cassia shrugged. "I'm sure he'll fit. I've seen the beds in the clubhouse, those things are no bigger than a twin if even." She scooped up her son and kissed his face. "I wanna see this new car that grandma says you have. What color is it this time? Green? Blue? White? Black? Purple!?"

"Blue." Carter nodded his head as he rubbed his mom's cheek ."A blue car!"

"So, like my car!?" She laughed as she started up the stairs. "Grandma, talk to Kozik, he's nice. He's less awkward than Juice, that's for sure. You remember Juice right Carter?"

"I like apple juice." He smiled. "I want some."

"Where would you like me to put everything?" Kozik walked into the house and grinned. "I got all the bags in one trip. New record."

"Just take it right in there." Ingrid followed after the man and smiled. "I didn't know you were coming, so I will have to set up the guest room for you. We're not really used to many guests besides Cassia, so bare with the accommodations."

He nodded his head slowly and smiled. "Whatever you have is fine with me. I'm not picky and I can pretty much sleep on anything." He looked at her. "Is she your only granddaughter?"

"Yes." The woman smiled. "Cassia is our only grandchild and Carter is the only great-grandchild. Her mom was the only child, my husband, Henry and I had." She studied him carefully and nodded her head slowly before turning her attention to the picture on the fridge of Carter and Cassia. "So, does Clay know?"

"Does Clay know that I'm here?" Kozik nodded his head slowly. "He wanted me to stay with her as security detail."

"No, no." Ingrid shook her head as she gestured to the pictures. "Does he know about _that_?"

"No." He shook his head. "I didn't even know until Tuesday… I had left for two years and I had no idea about it."

"Grandma." Cassia walked into the kitchen and smiled. "I love what you did in my room, the quilt is super gorgeous. It actually put Carter to sleep as soon as he laid on it. Poor thing. I was thinking I'd make him some ravioli for dinner. He loves it so much."

"He helped me make that thing." Ingrid pulled the brunette into a hug. "Kozik says he's fine with sleeping in the guest room on the twin bed."

"Good." She nodded and grinned. "I'm going to put all of this away, get some dinner going. Don't argue with me either. I wanna do this. Treat you, grandpa and Carter. I know you love the ravioli and garlic bread a whole lot."

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"Your grandparents are nice." Kozik nodded his head slowly as he looked at Cassia who was holding Carter and talking to him. "Your grandma is the best, though. You know that she knows right?"

"Yeah." Cassia shrugged as she glanced over at Kozik. "I'm as close to her as I was to my mom. I told her everything that happened. I don't feel the need to hide it from her or my grandpa. They hate my dad, so they're not going to go off telling my business because they know how he is and will react to the truth."

"This is all just a little fast for me." He looked at her and furrowed his brow. "I haven't even processed all of this yet Cassia. A kid? We have a kid?"

"I'm not asking you to drop everything and be a dad. I just thought I should tell you the truth sooner than later." She rolled her eyes. "Process it, however long it takes you to let this all sink in. It's no rush really. As you can see, we're kinda going fine. Me and my little Carter Jace."

"It's a lot to take in. I'm now tied to you for _life_." Kozik rubbed his forehead as shook his head. "For life."

Cassia scoffed. "You make it sound like it's a death sentence." She stood up, setting Carter to his feet before turning her full attention to the man. "I wanted you to know, I wanted you to meet him. I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with Herman. I don't want you to change your bachelor ways and trade your Dyna for a sedan. I'm not asking any of that. I just wanted you to _know_. I should've just kept it a fucking secret from you. I never should've told you about him. This was a mistake."

"No, it's not a death sentence." He shook his head and sighed. "Just ignore me, I have no idea how to react to this shit at all. I don't know what to say."

"Um, for one you can say hi to the kid. He's not going to bite unless he's sleepy." She chuckled as she pointed to Carter. "Kozik, this isn't rocket science, this isn't some great mystery. If you want to get to know him, then you can get to know him, if you don't want it, then you don't have to do any of this. There's no pressure on you. There's no commitment. I simply just wanted you to know what was happening. _That's it_. You're putting way more thought into this than you need to. You're in fact making it very awkward. It's uncomfortable really."

"I like cars." Carter smiled at Kozik as he rested a hot wheels car on the man's leg. "Vroom, vroom."

"Bikes are better." Kozik smiled at the little boy before pulling a motorcycle from his pocket and setting it next to the car. "It goes vroom, vroom too."

"Oh no." The little boy shook his head. "No bikes."

Cassia smirked. "He's anti-bike." She shrugged as she kissed Carter's forehead. "Tell Kozik all about cars, talk his ears off my love. I'll be right back. I'm going to grab some chips."

"Cars are cool." Carter dropped more cars onto Kozik's lap and laughed. "Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom!"

"I mean, I guess this one is cool." Kozik smiled as he held up a Mustang. "I like black cars, they're pretty cool."

"Papa has a Mustang doesn't he Carter?" Cassia smiled at the pair. "It's in the garage, loves that thing more than he loves the rest of us, we're sure of it."

"Can't touch it." He shook his head as he grabbed Kozik's hands. "Are you my new friend?"

Kozik looked at Carter before looking over at Cassia. "Yeah, I'm your new friend. My name is Kozik. I hope we can hang out again soon."

"Cool." Carter nodded eagerly as he climbed into the man's lap. "Kozik, I'm Carter."

"Better learn now, kids have no boundaries." Cassia laughed. "He'll be all over you for the rest of the weekend now."

* * *

 **Whoa, I know, another chapter with a whole lot of messiness. As they both try to figure it all out. It'll get better, it'll get a little cleaner. Just bear with these two emotional messes right now.**


	4. Advice

The night was cool when Kozik and Cassia arrived back in Charming. The weekend had been longer than expected. He hadn't minded that at all. In fact it was a nice break from the chaos of the club. He enjoyed the family dynamic that Cassia, Carter and their grandparents had. It wasn't something he had seen since Cassia's mom was alive. It was nice to see the brunette being genuinely happy in life again. "Cass."

"Yeah?" Cassia turned slightly to look at Kozik as they walked up the pathway to her home. "I'm sorry that the weekend ran long. I just couldn't pull myself away from that handsome little Carter Jace. I also had to give him love and kisses, let him know that I'll be back real soon."

"He was cool." The man opened the front door, watching the young woman walk into the house before he walked in after her, closing and locking the door behind them before setting the alarm. "Except when he started to call me Kozy."

She laughed as she started stripping out of her clothes. "That was a cute nickname, he does the best he can. He's still little and learning names and faces. Be happy he attempted to pronounce your name _Kozy_. Could've introduced you as _Herman_ , maybe he would've called you Herm the Worm or something."

"No." He chuckled and shook his head as he dropped onto the sofa, his blue eyes on the brunette as she stood before him in just her bra and panties. "Thank you for letting me tag along this weekend, it was pretty nice."

"Don't get sentimental on me." She rolled her eyes as she started to scrounge through her duffel bag. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed, you're free to hangout around here. You know where everything is."

"I actually have to check in with your dad, let him know everything went well." Kozik pointed to her scattered clothes. "He should be coming over soon, so you might want to pick those up. I don't need him thinking we're up to something. I kinda like being alive."

"I kinda like you alive." She picked up her clothes and shrugged as she heard the doorbell. "Yeah, have fun with Clay. Tell him I got a headache and need a long shower to feel better and not to bug me. Alright? Yeah? Cool."

"Not even going to bother to say hi to your own dad?" Kozik stood up, moving towards the front door, opening it up quickly before disarming the alarm system. "Hey Clay, we just got back, Cassia is taking a shower, she got a headache on the drive home."

Clay smiled as he and Gemma walked further into the house. "I'm sorry I put you on babysitting duty this weekend. Just with the Mayans issues, I couldn't risk sending her to her grandparents on her own." He shook his head as he looked at the duffel bags. "She packed like she was going to move out there."

"I'm going to go check on her." Gemma smiled as she kissed Kozik's cheek. "Thank you for looking after her this weekend."

"No problem." The man nodded. "It was kind of a nice vacation for me as well."

Clay nodded his head slowly as he took a seat. "So, it's safe to say that you'll keep the secret then? That you won't tell anyone she has a kid."

"Yeah, I won't say a word." Kozik shook his head, hoping the confusion wasn't apparent on his face as he stared at the man. "Not my place to. I do have to question why it has to be kept a secret? Won't it come out eventually?"

"I don't need enemies of the clubs knowing and I don't want her being judged. She's a young unwed mother." Clay shook his head. "I care about her reputation and that can't be it right now. Her mother would have a fit if she were around to see her daughter get knocked up and dumped by some asshole who didn't even think twice about leaving her alone to raise a kid. She made a good decision, finishing up school and letting her grandparents take the kid."

"I heard her mention bringing Carter here when she finishes up with school." Kozik shrugged. "I can understand that you don't want her to have a bad reputation though."

"Is that so?" Clay shook his head. "I hope she lets him stay a little longer, until she gets her career started. That's not important though. Where's your head at? You ready to come off of babysitting detail and join the club on some real jobs?"

"I'd love that." Kozik nodded his head and smiled. "I'd love to be back out helping the club."

"Good, good." The older man nodded and smiled. "It'll be good to have you as help. Love when you and Happy can work with us."

"We need to get her some food in this house." Gemma walked into the living room. "The girl needs to put some more meat on her bones."

"There's food." Cassia rolled her eyes as she walked into the living room. "You should've knocked before you just walked on into my bathroom like that Gemma."

"Honey, I've seen it all before." Gemma shook her head. "You could stand to put on some weight. No good with starving yourself, no matter how focused you are on your studies, you can't start forgetting to eat again Cassia."

"I'm not forgetting to eat, I'm eating just fine." She sighed. "Three meals a day, sometimes snacks. I've just cut back on all the fast food stops on the way home. I lost a little weight but the doctor told me I'm not unhealthy unless I lose even more weight than this."

"Good news." Clay cleared his throat, sensing that the women were headed for yet another heated argument over his daughter's bad habits. "Kozik is no longer your babysitter, he's coming back to the table. More helping out the club."

"Finally." Cassia smiled widely. "No more Sons trailing me every fucking where I go." She set the beer out on the coffee table and nodded. "Unless you're planning on putting Juice and that prospect back on me. That was fun, it was easy to shake both of them, even more fun when they'd call you freaking out over losing me."

"Juice did say he had fun following you around though, said when you finally let him into the house he was impressed with your electronics and computer setup." Gemma nodded. "Also oozed about how warm and welcoming you turned out to be. Guess he expected you to be a plain ol' _ice queen_."

"Oh yeah? Juice was pretty cool, he geeked out over the computers but I told him it's what I kinda did when I started college. Computer security and hacking. He laughed that I'm a white hat and he's a black hat." Cassia sat on the end of the coffee table and shrugged. "Carter is doing fine if you wanted to know dad. He's big, talking a lot more too, he's even got a nice collection of hot wheels and Kozik tried sucking up to him and giving him a little die cast Harley. He hated it at first but by this morning he was all about the bike."

"I'm glad he likes the bike. Your grandparents need anything?" Clay touched his daughter's arm. "Anything for them or Carter?"

"No, I took care of it all." She shrugged his hand off her arm. "It's fine, my mistake so I'll cover any and all expenses for him. You don't need to worry about it at all."

"Alright." He nodded his head slowly. "I'm proud of you for taking care of it all Cassia, I promise you that much. Your mom would be proud as well."

"Thanks." She murmured as she took a sip of her beer. "I don't know about that, she always told me to fall in love, get married and then have a child. She might be looking down at me right now, just shaking her head over me going about life backwards."

"You fell in love, just with the wrong guy." Gemma nodded slowly. "You'll fall in love again, with the right man. It'll come unexpectedly. Why don't you get to know some of the prospects?"

"No." Clay shook his head. "She doesn't need to get caught up with a club member. That's the last thing her mom would _ever_ want for her. She can find one at school or in her field when her career starts, Gem."

"I'm not taking relationship advice from cheaters." Cassia glared at the couple. "I'm especially not taking advice from a 'woman' who disrespects another woman for no solid reason. Cheating emotionally is way worse than just sleeping with each other. Yes, I know you cheated on mom with Gemma. Jax and I do talk you both know that right? Tried to say you were friends with my mom yet you're now in love and married to her husband? Same with you dad, married your best friend's wife? That's so fucked up on so many levels. What'd mom and JT do to ever deserve that?"

"Not having this conversation right now." He growled at his daughter. "It's none of your damn business either. You're the child and we're the adults."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Just know that you guys are supposed to be the adults I can look up to. I'm going to bed, you can all let yourselves out. I'll be happily changing the locks and security codes when I wake up in the morning, now that I'm free from having a damn babysitter."

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Four in the morning and Cassia was wide awake. Sitting atop her home as she took a long drag of the cigarette between her index and middle fingers. It was her bad habit, the nastiest one she had yet to break and the one she hid from everyone else. She was stressed and the glee on Kozik's face earlier, when it was announced that he was no longer her _babysitter_ had dampened her spirit to say the least. Now, she needed someone else to fill the time she had between school and work, the time she hated being by herself.

"You know, the clubhouse roof is way more safe than this one, right darlin'?" The man's voice pulled the brunette's attention, earning him an eyeroll and smirk. "You know, you shouldn't be smoking, that's kinda my thing." He took the cigarette from the brunette's loose grasp and took a drag from it. "I haven't got an SOS message from you in a while, what's wrong?"

"Jax did you just ask me what's wrong?" She chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ears as she tightened her denim jacket around her frame. "Your mom, my dad." She shrugged. "Treat me like an adult until I want to have an adult conversation, then I'm a child. You know I hate when they offer up relationship advice."

"My mother is trying to get you to link up with a Son again and Clay isn't having it?" Jax laughed and shook his head as he bumped against the brunette. "Remember when they first announced they were getting together?"

"I nearly passed out." She shook her head as she took the cigarette back. "I didn't like it at all. I hated it in fact. Fresh out of a divorce and the passing of your dad, then they were getting together like it was nothing. Didn't even think twice about my mom's broken heart. I didn't get it and still don't. I know feelings change and that's all fine but I don't get the whole situation. Ugh, change the subject before I get pissed off."

"Um, congratulations on being Kozik free, it's been like years with him watching you and now you're free of any Sons?" He nodded slowly and smiled as he stubbed out the cigarette. "I know you have to be happy about having your life back?"

"I'm loving it, it's only been a few hours but I'm happy to have complete freedom. I can literally just up and leave right now if I wanted to. I was thinking maybe after finals, going to live with my grandparents for a bit, be closer to Carter." She smiled. "It'd be quite lovely, don't you think so? Napa, the vineyards, chasing my son through them without having to worry about being dragged to a lockdown or a bulky man lurking in the shadows."

"I wish I could just up and leave." He shook his head. "Remember when we tried that? Tried running away for a bit? Two days in and Clay was calling us back for some lockdown because he pissed off the Niners. Made it all the way to Monterey Bay though."

"Loved the aquarium. The octopus was so cool, hands down my most favorite sea creature." She laughed. "So much so that it's tattooed on my foot."

"You would love the creepiest thing in that place." He chuckled. "So am I going to get more SOS texts now?"

"I don't know, I just needed someone to talk to that understood the annoying aspect of Clay and Gemma. No offense but you're mom is way to intrusive, she still tries to treat me as if I'm a teenager and needed to be monitored." Cassia shrugged. "I just remember us going off and just talking, venting, smoking and drinking a beer. You never treated me any differently, despite being a few years older than me. You treated me like a friend and I always loved that, still love it."

"I'd like to think of myself as a good friend." He nodded slowly as he looked over the neighborhood and smiled. "We're staying out until sunrise huh?"

"I am but you're more than welcome to leave if you have somewhere else to be." She nodded her head, her eyes trained on the sky before her as it slowly started to grow lighter and lighter. "Even thought I have class in four hours, I'm running on no sleep but nothing a little coffee won't cure for me. I'll sleep when finals are done with. I'll sleep in hopefully until like nine or ten. I'm not too picky." She chuckled. "Would really love to sleep in with Carter like I did over the weekend. Man oh man. I loved it."

"You ever going to bring him around?" Jackson looked at the brunette intently before smiling. "I know Clay wants to keep him as some big ass secret and supposedly spare your reputation. That's what he told me at least."

The brunette scoffed, she knew it wasn't her reputation that the man wanted to save. It was his own because at the end of the day, Clay cared about two things, himself and the club. He didn't know how to love and he definitely didn't know how to parent. Her mom was the parent, she did everything for Cassia all the way until she had taken her last breath. "Oh, how kind of him, wanting to spare my reputation. I don't really care about what people think about me. As soon as I graduate, I'm going to get my boy back. Don't think I'll raise him in Charming though. I was thinking in the city somewhere. I have enough money to buy a nice place there."

"You should get out of Charming, you have nothing holding you here anyways. You can get up and move away if you wanted to." He nodded slowly. "I envy you in that aspect, you not getting tied down here. I'm only leaving Charming in a body bag, let's be honest."

"Ha." She laughed before covering her mouth. "You know that's so morbid and it's sad because it's true but if anything, you're more than welcome to tag along with Carter and I. Your mom would probably fucking die if you quit the club and then you'd have to black out all of that ink that you have for the club. I told you not to get that tattoo on your back but nah, just had to have it to be cool."

Jax looked at his friend and shook his head. "If life were that simple for me, then I'd do that. There's so much more to this that you don't see Cassia, just be happy you aren't tied to the club in the way that I am. Yeah, your dad is the president but you're a girl, you didn't get sucked into the club life and wanting to date a Son like most girls in Charming. Get out while you can or you'll die here too. Don't let your life end in tragedy, get out of here and be better than this life."

"I will." She mumbled as she trailed her fingers through her hair. _If only life were that simple_. She chuckled softly. If anyone knew how tied to the club she actually was, they'd look at her like she was stupid. Throwing it all away to chase after a man that would never return feelings as strong as hers. "As soon as I'm done with school, I'm moving out of Charming. Hopefully before my dad can piss off another club or gang."


	5. Confusing

"You made it really hard to get into your house." Kozik shook his head as he rubbed his arms, he had to maneuver his way through the open bedroom window. _On the second floor_. He was without his usual house keys. "You really changed the locks without giving me a key?"

"I did." Cassia looked at the man and rolled her eyes. "It's kinda hard to give someone a set of keys when you don't see them for a week." She pointed to the dresser across from her bed and shrugged. "You could've rang the doorbell, I would've answered since I'm expecting pizza anyways."

"Your dad has me busy, I haven't even had time to jack off during the last week." He shook his head again as he toed off his heavy boots and sat on the bench at the bottom of Cassia's bed. "I've missed you though, what have you been up to?"

"I've been good, keeping busy with having locks changed and the security system upgraded." She shrugged as she pulled on a pair of socks. "I've also been dealing with making decisions as to what I want to do when I graduate school. I'm pretty sure I want to move to the city or something of that sort. I just know I want to get out of Charming."

He nodded his head slowly, his stomach dropping slightly as he took her words in carefully. "Where would that leave us?"

"Us?" She looked at him and shook her head. "There is no _us_ , Kozik. It's you and then there's me. There being an us implies that there's commitment and something serious which is something that you don't want, remember? We're just two adults having sex." She looked away from him and sighed, the last statement hitting her harder than she ever expected it to. "That's how you want it, remember?"

"Cassia, you sure have a way with making me sound more harsh than I actually am." He shook his head as he stood up, moving towards the brunette and pulling her into a hug. "Stop thinking about it so much. Let everything happen naturally. You're going to drive yourself insane, just thinking about this shit."

"You're an idiot, I don't like you right now." She pushed him away and shook her head. "I should let you know, I have a date this weekend."

"A date? I don't remember asking you on a date." Kozik grumbled as he looked down at the brunette. "Who do you have a date with huh?"

"Don't worry about it, you don't know him. He's a teacher's aide at my school." She waved him off as she tied up her hair and smiled. "I need to run downstairs and pay for the pizza, are you going to be alright up here for like five minutes. I just planned on eating pizza and watching a movie."

"Why are you going on a date? You don't need to date." He murmured as he followed after the brunette and furrowed his brow. "Why are you going on date with a _teacher's aide_?"

"Do I sense a hint of jealousy?" Cassia looked back and flashed the man a smirk. "I'm going on a date because he asked me and I need something to do this weekend. Plus, free food and if the date goes horribly wrong, then I'll be able to tell a story to my friends in the future."

"First a date and now friends?" Kozik shook his head as he watched the brunette answer the door. "Where is the real Cassia?"

"Right here." She shut the door and turned around to face the man. "Hey, you can't get upset with me right now Kozik. I'm keeping you and I commitment free, just as you wanted me to."

"Can you stop?" He followed after her and sighed. "Can you stop with that shit, alright?"

Cassia shrugged as she set the pizza on her bed before turning to look at the man. "Hey, I'm just trying to live my life, see what's out there because this isn't working between us Kozik. You don't understand. I was so in love with you, I was so, so in love with you. Then you fucking left and it shattered my heart and I had to pretend that I was perfectly fine with that, then I found out I was pregnant and it was even worse. I was having a baby by a guy who had just up and left me without thinking twice about it. I was hurting and I had finally gotten good with the idea that you might never come back, then you just show up in front of my house like old times and I just melt and accept you back without a second thought… Now, I'm standing here and you will never be in love with me, yeah, you might love me but I need more than that. I want to be in love and I want someone to be in love with me. I want those mutual feelings."

"What about now? Where are your feelings at now? You kept saying was in love." He rested his hands on her hips and studied her face carefully. "Where are you at right now?"

"Really?" She shook her head as she wiped at her eyes. "I'm still in love with you, you should know that. I wouldn't have let you back if the feelings weren't there. I'm just stupid Kozik. I shouldn't feel this way about you at all. We could never actually be together. Not unless you wanted to get on my dad's bad side permanently."

"Get out of your head." He shook his head slowly. "Stop trying to plan every single aspect of your future, just let it all happen Cassia. It could work, we'd just have to eventually break the news to your father if the time comes."

"You're too confusing." Cassia sighed as she sat down on her bed, opening up the pizza box before taking a slice. "I don't even know what to do anymore." She shrugged as she relaxed against the fluffy pillows. "So, I have no choice but to take this one day at a time."

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"It is three in the morning and you've dragged me to the clubhouse, why?" Cassia rubbed at her sleep filled eyes and groaned loudly. "What is even going on right now Kozik?"

"Lockdown." Kozik nodded his head slowly as he led the brunette into the building and straight to her father. "I got her Clay, she's sleepy and still a bit out of it." He gestured to the brunette who was steadily wiping at her eyes.

"This couldn't have waited until the sun was actually up in the sky?" She looked at her dad and shook her head. "Do you just hate me? Is this why you had him wake me up and drag me in here? I should still be fast asleep!"

Clay shook his head slowly as he looked at his daughter. "No, I don't hate you. Something went wrong during a meeting, so we're taking a precaution, getting everyone in here to keep them safe. I had Gemma set up a room, it's clean, new mattress as well. So, don't even worry."

"But I was all cuddled up to my pillows, dreaming and loving life. I was in that good sleep, I was drooling and everything dad." Cassia grumbled and shook her head. "Take me to the room, it better be nicer than Jackson's."

"I'll take her." Juice smiled at Clay. "I don't mind, I really don't."

"Lead me to my room." She grabbed Juice's hand. "He's my favorite around here. I just need at least four more hours of sleep. Can you tell everyone the princess is sleeping and that they need to keep it down."

Kozik shook his head as he watched the pair walk off. "Not even going to stop that Clay? It's so obvious that Juice has a crush on her."

"Out of all of the guys, he's the least harmless one for her to get involved with." Clay shrugged. "What harm is a kid named Juice going to do? If anyone else took an interest in her, then I'd be pissed off. I don't need any dirty old men going after Cassia."

"Rumor among the girls is that Cassia and Jax had a thing." Kozik shrugged. "It's funny to listen to the sweetbutts and their jealously."

"I swear, you guys are the real gossip queens around here." Clay laughed. "You can't be listening to gossip, you guys are outlaws and killers."

"I forgot my bag." Cassia squeezed between the men. "I like the room though, it's nice, however, weak wifi signal so Juice is trying to fix that. I need to be able to work on things. What are you two gossiping about?"

"The sweetbutts and croweaters think you and Jax have a thing." Kozik shrugged. "Their jealousy is ridiculous."

Cassia smirked. "Oh no, they are totally right. Jax and I so had a thing. That taboo step sibling relationship, mmm, it just had to happen." She shook her head. "I'm kidding by the way. We'd never do that but it's nice that people think so lowly of us. Not everyone in Charming is into weird shit like that."

"What weird shit?" Tig smiled at Cassia. "Hi Cassia."

"Oh, the whole sibling thing, apparently people think Jax and I have fucked each other." She shook her head. "Can you believe that?"

"Actually I can." He licked his lips and nodded his head slowly. "I totally can believe it. In fact, I am probably the one who started that rumor. You and Jax had come down from the roof, looking smitten."

"Jesus." Clay shook his head. "Tig, you're sick."

Cassia rolled her eyes. "See, gossip queens you men are. Worst than the women." She shook her head as she walked away from the group, back to her room before closing the door. "So, I know I've known Tig for most of my life but I still can't get past his creep factor. He started a rumor that Jax and I slept together." She toed off her slippers before sitting on the bed. "Any luck with the laptop and the internet?"

"You have so many pictures of yourself on this thing." Juice looked at the brunette. "It's insane."

"Hey." She grabbed the laptop from the man. "You're not supposed to be going through my folders, just trying to get the internet to go faster for me. I get bored, I take pictures and I hope you didn't find the topless folder. It's hidden and encrypted."

"Just went through the visible folders." Juice nodded his head slowly before smiling. "Um, okay, I have to ask you something."

"Go for it." She smiled at him before setting the laptop down. "What's on your mind?"

"You're a girl right?" He laughed and shook his head. "Of course you're a girl. I need your advice, you know Jenna? She's the brunette that works the bars here during parties. I wanna ask her out but I don't know how to."

Cassia chuckled and nodded her head slowly. "Okay, you just need to go up to her and ask her out. It's that simple, you just invite her somewhere nice, do not take her to fun town, you're not a teenager so that's not a good first date. Okay, take her to this little bistro in Oakland, it's intimate but not so much so that it'd be an awkward first date. You can do it, Jenna seems to like you and you like her, so there's no way she'd say no to you."

"You think she likes me?" He flashed her a goofy smile and nodded eagerly. "Does the bistro have vegetarian options?"

"Yeah she does." She nodded eagerly. "It does have a vegetarian menu. The veggie burger is pretty good if I do say so myself." She smiled as she pulled Juice into a hug. "Don't worry, you're in good hands. I'll help you with this. Friends have to stick together, I'm going to get you a girlfriend and get you laid. It's going to be amazing. One of us needs to get laid consistently. If not me then it has to be you."

Juice shook his head and laughed. "Awesome, I can't wait to ask her out now. Also, why haven't you been getting laid? I mean look at you."

"No time." Cassia shrugged. "It doesn't matter, let's get to this date planning. This is so exciting. I'm excited and we have a whole lockdown to get through. So, this is going to be fun."

* * *

 **I hope you guys are liking this story, it was done for a bit while I reworked some points but it's back up now. Cassia is still holding onto some secrets and I think this lockdown is going to be a fun time for everyone. I also promise that some much needed smut will be coming very soon.**


	6. Lust & Annoyance

Cassia Morrow rolled over, her arm smacking the chest of the man lying beside her before she sat up slowly, groaning and rubbing her sleep filled eyes. She didn't even know where she was or how she got there. She turned her head slightly, smiling as she identified the man to be Kozik and not some random stranger. "My head is killing me. What did I even do?" She looked around the room, panic sinking in as she realized she was in a dorm room, at the clubhouse and in bed with Kozik. "Shit."

Bouncing off the bed, the brunette stood upright, stretching her arms above her head as she looked around the space for her shoes. She needed to put distance between her and Kozik before anyone could walk in and place them together. The last thing anyone needed was for Clay to find them, especially while on lockdown. "Kozik." She kicked at the mattress. "Herman, get out of my bed and this room."

"Shh." Kozik waved his hand in the air before slowly sitting up and looking at the frantic brunette. "You're kicking me out? You wanted me to stay in here with you, we were all drinking and having a great time. You started to get sick and I followed you to the bathroom and we ended up in here, I put you to bed."

"I don't remember anything after Juice and I playing pool." She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "This is why I can't drink liquor. I don't remember anything."

"If it'll help you calm down, I don't think anyone noticed us." He shook his head as he stood up from the bed, moving towards the brunette, his hands snaking around her waist before he pressed a kiss to her neck. "So, relax, I'll sneak out and all will be good."

"Are you sure?" She sighed as she felt his hands on her ass, squeezing it roughly before she gave into the touch. "Don't leave right now. I need you." She moved her hands to the front of his jeans and squeezed softly. "If no one saw us then we should be good huh?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head slowly, pulling back to look at the brunette before he pulled her away the door and back towards the bed before he easily slid her shorts and panties down her legs. "We should be good babe."

Cassia nodded her head, knowing good and well that this was the last that she should be doing, especially with her dad wandering around the clubhouse. She couldn't help herself though, she wanted the man and she wanted him badly. She laid back on the bed, her eyes looking up at Kozik as she parted her legs slightly, giving him a view of what he was after. "You waiting for someone to come knock on the door and stop us?"

He shook his head as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it behind him before he quickly unbuckled his belt and jeans, pushing them down his legs in order to free his cock. He was hard and needing the brunette desperately. He couldn't handle the back and forth any longer, he wanted to be inside of Cassia and now was his only chance. "Nope." He smirked as he positioned himself between her legs, hooking the left leg around his waist as he pushed into the brunette's center without much resistance and paused. He needed to bask in the wetness and warmth of the brunette. "Fuck Cass."

She moaned softly, her legs tightening around his waist as her hands found his back, her nails digging into his skin as she arched her back off of the mattress. "So damn good."

Kozik closed his eyes as he continued to thrust into the brunette, bottoming out with every single movement he made. He was losing his mind, the brunette felt unlike any other woman he had ever been with. "You're perfect…" He murmured against her neck as he rolled them over, his hands instantly going to the brunette's waist as he opened his eyes to watch her on top of him. "I've always loved you being on top."

Cassia rolled her eyes, as she moved her hips back and forth, her hands on Kozik's chest as she braced herself. "Stop it." She shook her head, her eyes closing as she continued her rhythm, her body involuntarily reacting to every touch the man beneath her gave her. It was her favorite thing about him, their bodies just worked together. "No talking, just fucking."

He nodded slowly, his hands tangling in her long hair as he pulled her down, her breasts against his chest as he felt her erect nipples brush against his skin with every move either of them made. "Can't tell you how much I love your pussy?" He shook his head, bringing his hips up to thrust into her as she pushed back against him. Her moans loud in his ear before he covered her mouth with his, their tongues tangling together as they both fell into ecstasy.

"Ignore it." She mumbled against him as she heard footsteps stop right outside of the door. Her hips still moving as she continued to enjoy the feeling of being stretched out by Kozik's cock. "I at least want to cum. I deserve to cum." She moaned softly, feeling his fingers dig into the flesh of her ass, before one dropped away.

Kozik continued his thrusts, his thumb exploring the brunette's body before stopping at her puckered hole. He felt her stiffen up before relaxing. He had always wanted to push the limits with Cassia and now he had the chance to. He moved his thumb slowly before pushing into the hole, the resistance not wanting to budge until he felt the brunette relax more. "Damn Cassia…" He murmured, his eyes closing as he picked up the pace, not wanting to leave the woman or the room without getting his release.

"Knew you were a backdoor type of man." She pushed back against his hand and moaned softly against his lips, letting him take over as she stopped moving. "Don't know about you but I'm getting close… It's just a quickie, remember that."

"I know," He groaned before kissing her neck and rolling them back over, earning an annoying grunt from the brunette as he began to slam into her. His hand over her mouth as he laughed at the moans that were steadily falling from her swollen lips. "Quiet, remember." He growled out as he looked down at the brunette, his blue eyes on her face as he watched it twist up in pleasure. "Gonna cum for me?"

Cassia nodded her head slowly, her legs wrapping around the man's waist tightly as she felt her orgasm pool in her lower stomach. Each of his thrusts pushing her closer and closer to a much needed release. She bit softly on his hand before he pulled it away, his lips replacing his hand as he edged her closer and closer to her climax. "Fuck babe." She whispered as her eyes fluttered close, her body flushing a pink color before tensing up as her orgasm rolled over her, soaking her, and the bed. "Damn."

"Did you just?" He shook his head and continued his thrusting, feeling his own orgasm begin as her spasms continued around his member. He caught her bottom lip between his lips and sucked roughly as he thrust into a few more times before burying himself deep in her as he felt his release start. A low moan fell from his lips before he finally pulled out of the brunette, looking down at her before sighing. "You made a mess."

"All you." She shook her head as she looked up at him, her eyes half closed as she tried to regulate her breathing. "You're out of practice though. Took you way too long to get me to cum. You used to have me a spasming mess in less than ten minutes back in the day old man." She chuckled as she sat up slowly, her fingers brushing against her pussy. "Also, could've pulled out Kozik."

"Was caught up in the moment." He shrugged as he started to get dressed. "I suggest you get dressed. I'll see you around." He kissed her lips and smirked. "Later."

"Hey Juice." Cassia smiled at the man as she dropped down onto the leather couch beside him, pulling her legs up as rested a book on them. "Why are you in here and not out there participating in the foolishness that is your club?"

Juice shrugged as he looked at the brunette and smiled. "Wanted some quiet." He gestured to the laptop on the coffee table in front of him. "Trying to hack into a very secure security system. It's taking me longer than expected."

"I can appreciate needing some quiet." She tapped on her book. "I need to review the last few chapters. I bombed my quiz and got a very angry email from the professor who expected more from me than a C. I really didn't study or read going into it, so I guess that's why I failed but in my defense, I was preoccupied with all of this lockdown shit."

"I asked the girl out, she said yes." He nodded as he took the book from her. "Just do the chapter reviews at the back, if you can pass those, you can pass a quiz. It just asks about the main points of each chapters. The shit you're supposed to have been taught and retain."

"You're a godsend." She smiled at him and nodded slowly. "I always forget those things are in the back of the book. I'm happy that you got the date, now are you going to wear the usual outfit? Or maybe we can get you a somewhat bigger shirt, not that I'm complaining about the tight ones you wear. Between you and me, you've got some really nice arms going on."

He laughed and nodded his head. "I was going to wear a somewhat bigger shirt. I have to look decent when I'm on a date. Thanks though, I work really hard on these arms, it's nice to know that someone besides myself appreciates them."

"Hey, can I get you anything Cassia?" A blonde smiled at the pair. "Coffee? Juice? Pizza? Anything?"

"Uh," The brunette looked at the blonde, knowing that confusion was written all over her face. "Why are you asking me if I need anything? Don't you just cater to the guys and their old ladies? What's your name again?"

"I am Riley." The blonde nodded. "Because you're Clay's daughter, we have to ask you as well. It's only right. So, do you need anything?"

"No." Cassia shook her head slowly. "Riley, I'm good but thank you for asking me. I brought my own snacks and drinks out of the kitchen already."

"I'll be cleaning if you need anything." Riley smiled. "Bye."

"That is so weird." She rolled her eyes. "I don't get these girls at all man. Why come here to just be a slave? It's the weirdest thing. It's like we're a few notches above the Romans right now and they basically just fucked wherever and whenever. Lord knows what shit they passed around. Make me a promise, use protection. I'd hate to see your dick fall off from a toxic encounter."

Juice laughed and shook his head frantically. "They just want the title of Old Lady. To know they'll be taken care of and respected. I mean, look at Gemma, she walks around here like a Queen and puts fear into the sweetbutts, they're all jumping at the bit for that type of power, so they slum it until they can get far. Riley, she's after Kozik after Jax shot her down a dozen times."

"Out of all of the men? Kozik? If I were a sweetbutt, my eyes would be set on you or Happy." She shrugged as she trailed her fingers through her hair. "That's where my only options lay. If I was creepy enough and had enough kinks and fetishes, then Tig would be on the list but sadly our kinks just don't line up. Sad huh?" She chuckled.

"Happy and I don't have any titles of power though." He rolled his eyes. "Not on the top of of many girl's list unless they're just looking for a hookup."

"Um, Sergeant at Arms is a pretty hefty title if you ask me. That's pretty much saying that the club is on your back and you need to handle shit to make sure your club is safe." Cassia grabbed Juice's hand. "I know you'll rise up the ranks one day, you just have to want it enough. I mean, I don't think you'll turn into some psycho killer like Happy but I think you could be up there with him Tig and Kozik."

"I kind of forget you were brought up in this life so you would know." Juice laughed. "I'm pretty good where I'm at now. I'm enjoying the club, I have a seat at the table. I just need there to be way more prospects so they stop treating me like one."

"You want me to kick some ass?" Cassia cracked Juice's knuckles and smiled. "Your hand felt all tense, I couldn't help myself. Also, they give you shit because you're the youngest and you tend to not think all the way through before you do shit sometimes." She shrugged. "Oh yeah, this life. Terrible one to grow up in. Cost me the most important person in my life. Now I have Gemma who tries to play mom to me but it isn't something I take to kindly to but I try to play nice because I'm not here for the drama at all."

"It's alright, my hands always seize up sometimes when I've been hacking too long, it's why I was taking a break. That felt good, I've never had a girl crack my knuckles like that before." He flashed her a goofy grin. "I'm sorry you lost your mom. I can't imagine that and I really can't imagine having to continue being around this place."

She took his other hand, cracking the knuckles before massaging his wrist. "It's something I learned from my anatomy professor. He was pretty cool, he would teach us shit that would help with cramping from writing all the notes he wanted us to." She smiled at him and shrugged. "Plus, we're pretty much best friends so I care about your hand health." She chuckled before she watched Happy and Tig stalk into the clubhouse. "Those two just like to beat each other huh?"

Juice nodded slowly. "Pretty much. They always get in the ring together. I like to call it the battle of the freaks." He chuckled before stopping. "I think your dad is looking for you."

"Then hide me." Cassia held her book up in front of her face and groaned. "Maybe he won't see me."

"Cass." Clay lowered the book and smiled down at his daughter. "I want you to go with Gemma to the store. The prospects will follow you two."

"Oh no." She shook her head. "I'm not going to the store with Gemma if you're just sending us with inexperienced prospects. At least send Juice and Kozik. You can stand to be without the two of them for an hour. Remember the last time you put prospects on someone important? They never made it back. The prospects either."

"Fine, take Juice and a prospect. Kozik stays here." Clay kissed his daughter's head. "Remember, be nice to Gemma."

"Juice." Cassia looked at her friend and smiled. "You know how to drive a cage right?"

Juice nodded slowly as he let the brunette pull him to his feet. "See, I don't want to drive a cage. How about you ride on my bike with me? I put the seat on for my date but you can break it in."

"Come on let's go." Gemma looked down at Cassia. "We gotta make this fast."

"Shouldn't you take like a sweetbutt with you? I mean if one of them gets shot at or shot down it won't be a big deal. You can use her as a human shield." Cassia stood up slowly. "Don't you know this is Clay's way of forcing us to be together and bond?"

"Can't go against the president's wishes." Gemma shrugged as she pulled her keys out of her purse. "Now come on."

"I can." Cassia mumbled as she followed after Gemma. "I'm telling you, just send the shopping list with a few sweetbutts and the prospects."

"I want specific things." Gemma rolled her eyes. "I'm making my famous chili for the guys. Now come on."

"Thirty minutes." Cassia grumbled as she pushed the shopping cart behind Gemma and frowned. "It's been thirty minutes already. This is how long it takes me to shop for an entire week of food for myself. You're buying chili ingredients."

"It takes time to pick the best ingredients." Gemma looked back at her step daughter and shook her head slowly. "Learn some patience, it'd be good for you."

"I am patient." She rolled her eyes. "Patiently awaiting your death, my dad's death. All of this waiting is ironically slowly killing me. Isn't that a shame?"

Gemma stopped walking, turning her full attention onto Cassia. "You're going to be waiting a long time. Don't you know, it's always the bad people that live the longest dear?"

"See," Cassia sighed. "That may be true but I'll still be around long enough to watch the King and Queen fall. Until then, I'll still play nice."

"I'll tell your dad that you're wishing his demise." Gemma shrugged. "He won't be too happy about that at all."

"Me? Wishing for his demise? Never." Cassia smiled. "I love my daddy so much. I don't want anything bad happening to him, ever." She shrugged. "Your word against mine, he'll always believe me over you."

"You keep telling yourself that." Gemma nodded slowly and smirked. "You just keep making yourself believe that."

"We have to get out of here soon." Juice approached the women and shook his head. "There's someone sitting on the store and waiting for us. Gotta finish up and get out of here. Five minutes."

"See, this is why you don't take your time and shop during a lockdown." Cassia shook her head as she followed after Juice. "Any chance we can leave her behind?"

"Only if you want me to die." Juice escorted Cassia out to the back of the store. "I'm going to try to pull the car up out back. Please don't move and please don't try to leave Gemma behind. Alright?"

"I make no promises. Everyone for themselves when shit goes south." She shrugged. "Oh look here she comes."

"I don't like being rushed." Gemma shook her head slowly. "Did you call for backup Juice?"

"I did." Juice nodded. "The guys should be here soon. I'm going to pull the car around back. You two can hop in and be ready to pull off when the club shows up."

"See this is why you don't send a wife and a daughter out during a lockdown. Shit can and will go wrong with the Sons of Anarchy." Cassia sighed. "I cannot die or get hurt. I have Carter to think about."

Gemma furrowed her brow as she looked at Cassia. "Get out of your head. Nothing is going to happen to us. We'll get out of here-." Her words were cut short by the sound of gunshots as she felt herself being pushed to the ground.

"Stay here and stay down!" Juice looked at the women. "Do not move until someone with a reaper comes in for you."

"You were saying?" Cassia looked at Gemma. "Nothing but trouble comes with the Sons…" She shook her head slowly as she got comfortable, knowing she was going to be stuck in the grocery store for a while.

 **To Be Continued…**

* * *

I know it was supposed to be up last night but I took it in a slightly different direction. So it's going to be fun for me to write and for you to read. Once again thank you all for the support and patience with me. It is truly and greatly appreciated.


	7. A Continuation

"Carter." Cassia murmured as she glanced over at Gemma. "If anything, I'm using you as a human shield because I have a son to get home to. I know you have one too but he's a grown ass man and doesn't really need you despite what you believe." She shook her head slowly as she moved closer to the door. "I'm going first."

Gemma chuckled and shook her head. "You're so not cut out for any of this shit. How are you Clay's daughter but don't have a single ounce of strength in your body? You have to be strong, if you're not then you might as well be dead."

"Blah, blah, blah." The brunette rolled her eyes. "Survival mode has indeed kicked in and I will throw you to the ground if it means I'll make it out alive Gemma. It's not even anything right now. Brains before bullets and all of that shit that Jackson believes in. I'm with him. Think then react. I'm thinking of my son and now I'm going to get into that SUV and go to my son. Where he's safe and I'll be safe. Fuck a lockdown."

"You act like you've never been around gunfire before." Gemma shook her head again as she followed after the young woman. "Man up sweetheart."

"Um! Gemma, I have never been around gunfire before! Well this kind, yeah I've been to a shooting range but that is _different_." Cassia shrugged her shoulders. "You're insane for rationalizing this shit, for being okay with this shit, how can you be okay with having your life put in danger because of the man you married?" She sighed as she was pulled towards the SUV by Juice. "Oh thank God, you're safe. Are you hurt or anything?"

"No." Juice shook his head. "Get in and let's go. Come on Gemma."

"Still vote that we leave her behind." She mumbled as she slid into the backseat and fastened her seatbelt. "Drop her off at the clubhouse, I'm not going back there. I need to get to my grandparents' place."

"I have strict orders to take you to the clubhouse and keep you both there." Juice glanced back and shook his head. "I have to keep you there. You can take it up with Clay when he gets back there."

"Fine, whatever." Cassia huffed. "I will take it up with him because he shouldn't have sent us out like this to begin with."

"Just take a few deep breaths and relax." He smiled at her. "You being worked up isn't going to get anything handled. Talk to him and I'll drive you to your grandparents' place."

"I'm relaxed." She mumbled as she twisted the bracelets on her wrists and stared out of the window. "I'm going to call and tell them that I'll be out there for a visit though. I do miss Carter and them a whole lot."

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"Juice was telling me that you want to get out of here, go see the kid and your grandparents for a while." Clay looked at Cassia as she packed up her things. "I think that'd be a good idea actually. I heard that you were freaked out during the shooting."

"I was freaked out." Cassia looked at the man as she zipped up her bag. "I just thought about my entire life and Carter and I freaked the fuck out. It's a normal reaction to being in a place that's being shot up dad. Anything could've happened. I'm thankful and grateful that nothing worse happened."

"It's alright, you're not used to this life and part of me is relieved by that." He pulled his daughter to him and wrapped his arms around her. "I know we have our moments but I do love you and I'm glad you weren't hurt. You were also right, I shouldn't have sent you and Gemma out to grocery shop. She just really wanted to make everyone a nice meal."

"Yeah, I love you too even if I wanna hit you most of the time." She smiled as she pulled away. "It just put everything into perspective for me. I wanna make it to graduation in three days. I want to be around for Carter. I don't want to risk being hurt or anything."

"Then be happy you're not saddled with a Son, then you'd be forced to be on these lockdowns all of the time." Clay shook his head slowly. "I'm sending Juice and Kozik with you though. I don't want you to argue with me either."

"Toss in Jax as well and we have a deal." She laughed. "You're sending me my favorite security guards right? Jax is one of them."

"Not including Jax, take Juice and Kozik." Clay shook his head. "You hear me? They'll escort you to and from there."

 **SOA**

"Carter my love!" Cassia picked up her son and spun him around. "I missed you so so much my dear. Look at you, you've got a nice haircut! Did grandpa give you the haircut?"

"Yeah, grandpa gave me the cut." Carter smiled at his mom before kissing her cheek. "Hi mom! I got more blue cars!"

"Oh yeah?" She set him down to his feet and took his hand. "Show me all of your blue cars, I want to see every last one of them my love."

"Can I have pizza?" He looked up at the brunette and grinned. "I love pizza."

"Yup, this is my child." She laughed as she lifted him back up. "I'll buy you some pizza my love. We'll watch cartoons and eat it all."

"Glad you're here." Henry smiled at Cassia. "He's been going on and on about you all week. So, this is a nice surprise for him."

"I've missed him and I've had a trying day or so." She kissed her son's head and smiled. "God, I've missed him so much. I cannot wait to be able to spend all of my free time with him and get all of his sweet kisses and cuddles. This little boy is everything to me. I love him so damn much."

"Cuddles, grandpa." Carter smiled at the man before burying his face in his mom's neck. "I love you mommy."

Cassia moved towards the sofa and sat down, keeping her son in her tight embrace. "I love you too baby, so much. So, so much." She looked at her grandpa and sighed. "I got caught up in some club mess and it makes me realize how badly I love being out of that environment and how much I love this little one being far away from it as possible."

The older man nodded his head slowly and smiled. "Like I said, he's been missing you and he's been talking about you like crazy. Maybe you can stay around a while and see to it that he gets enough of you."

"Of course." She trailed her fingers through her son's hair and nodded. "Man oh man, I've missed you nonstop baby boy. You're perfection and I need all of you that I can get. Don't leave me, ok? I want all these hugs and kisses from you. You're my most favorite thing in the entire world."

"My mom." Carter sighed as he rubbed the brunette's cheek. "I want more cuddles and naps with you."

She nodded her head slowly. "This is my love, I love him so much grandpa. I have two annoying bodyguards outside. I told them they have to sleep in the black van because I don't need babysitters and I don't need them in the house."

Henry laughed and shook his head slowly. "Cass, we welcome guests into our home, no matter how annoying they can get. I mean, me and your grandmother still let you in our house and you're the biggest annoyance we know." He winked at her and smirked. "I love you."

"You're mean." She rolled her eyes and chuckled before laying down on the sofa and keeping her son against her. "He's already out like a light. I think that you need to order that pizza and queue up a movie. I need a relaxing night in with the people that I love."

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"Can we please talk?" Kozik looked at Cassia as she stepped out onto the deck. "I wanna talk to you, please Cassia?"

"Sure." Cassia nodded her head as she sat down on the wooden swing, securing the blanket around her body as she looked at Kozik. "What's on your mind? I'm surprised you're not passed out like Juice is."

"I wanna get to know the kid." He looked at her carefully. "I wanna be there for him and for you… That's all I'm asking."

She shrugged as she looked up at him. "No, I don't want you to be part of his life unless you're serious about that shit. It won't be any back and forth, it won't be a game of in and out and only popping up when it's convenient for you. A kid is a _huge_ commitment and I have to know that you're serious. I won't let Carter have a fleeting dad in his life. Do you hear me _Herman_?"

"You know I hate it when you call me that." He whined and nodded. "But yes, I know what you're on about. I don't want to be a part-time dad, I want to be a fulltime dad. I want to get to know him. I missed out on a lot already and I'm sorry about that Cass. You have to believe me on that. If I would've known, then I wouldn't have gone anywhere."

"The fact of the matter is that you left _me_." She shook her head slowly as she fiddled with the ring on her finger. "You chose to leave me behind, you chose to start over elsewhere and create a new life for yourself without even a consideration as what it would do to me and how it would damage me. You called everything off between us and when I reached out, I was ignored so, I kept Carter to myself. That's my son and that's the love of my life. We can do this back and forth bullshit all day but you're going to have to prove to me that you're here to stay for the long run and you're not going to hightail it out of here when shit gets tough because it does." She shrugged. "Some days he's the easiest little one to deal with and other days he's a monster. He won't listen, he won't talk, he'll be grumpy and cry and you can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong but you know there's something wrong with him."

"Just please, give me this shot to bond with him over the next two days. Alright?" He sat down next to her and dragged his hands up and down his face. "I want to be here for him, okay? I want to support you two. Get us a little family going."

"Next two days, spend time with him." Cassia stood up, clutching her blanket to her body. "Don't fuck it up or I'll to hurt you Herman. Carter is special and I love him. I don't want you messing up his perfect little childhood."

Kozik nodded slowly as he smiled and stood up, wrapping his arms around the brunette. "You won't regret this I promise Cass. You won't regret this at all."

* * *

 **Whoa, I haven't updated this story in FOREVER. That's all my fault, I lost interest in this story and had to really sit and think about where I wanted to take it next and here we are. Starting up this lovely adventure again. Hopefully, Kozik can stick to his word and not ruin anything for little Carter, so stay tuned for some Son and baby fluff because it ought to be truly amazing.**


	8. authors note

This is for all my supporters, old and new ones. I apologize for the lack of follow through that I have had when it comes to my stories. It's not intentional, it's far from it. I've hit a point in life where I have other things to focus on. My mental health and my child being my major priorities. Along with school, I just haven't had the muse or motivation to write full chapters and update my current stories. Second Chance, Son Shine, Broken Legacy and Paradise Lost. I do have all these amazing ideas and subplots for all of these amazing stories outlined though. I just happen to be having fun just writing other things at the time. Like little one shots of my OCs where everything happened differently. I haven't forgotten about these stories and I hope I can get to a mental point where I can start updating them all again. Until that point, I just want to give you all my love and appreciation for sticking with me throughout all if this mess. From the OGs that read A Jaded Fantasy to those who came a board for Broken Legacy. Thank you so much. You all mean a lot to me.


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